Lost Desert Plot Spoof
by Return Of Itsy
Summary: A hilarious spoof that I'm sure you will enjoy :D FINISHED!
1. Chapter 1

**Lost Desert Spoof! (Mwahahaha)**

**Chapter 1**

_Many Neopians still don't know that far to the south. Beyond the Haunted Woods, lies the Lost Desert._

Haunted Woods: Screw them! We're still better!

_AHEM-cough- Anyways...Even fewer know that in the million degree heart of the Lost Desert lies the fantabulous city of Sakhmet..._

_...a thriving town in an ancient and timeless land._

Town Idiot: -runs by wearing nothing but a barel- The end is near! THE END IS NEAR!

Guys in the white jackets: Shit, he escaped again...

_Sakhmet is home to exotic petpets, cared for by a peophin with a gay name and even gayer braids, amazing food..._

_...and some of the best entertainers in the land._

Jubjub in a turban: -plays some flute with his feet-

Cobrall in basket: Check me out! Look ma, no hands!

_But the most magnificent thing in all of Sakhmet is the royal palace..._

_...where Princess Amira watches over everything._

Amira(thinking): Ugh...so...bored. I could just...kill myself...

_A far cry from the luxury of the palace, the streets of Sakhmet teem with beggars, scoundrels, and villians..._

Horace(sitting on his lazy ass doing nothing): Hey! I'm not a beggar!

Guy with script: Shut up, yes you are.

Tomos: Yeah, keep pitying yourself, while I steal some of these tchea fruits...

Adam: -pops up- The blue bits of the Tchea fruit taste like banana, and the yellow bits taste like blueberry. Very odd really.

Me: -bashes him over the head with Neopian Tmes issue 3- Quiet you! -drags him away-

_...including a gang of wily street urchins known as the Desert Scarabs._

Grarrl in skirt: -shakes fist- Stop, theif!

Tomos: -throws a tchea fruit at Horace-

Horace: Aack! That hit me in the eye!

Tomos: -shrugs- Sorry!

_One thing about Sakhmet, you can guarantee that it's never a dull place..._

Nabile: -trips over a crate full of Scamanders- Who the hell put this crate here?

Swordmaster Talek: -hides in the shadows-

Tomos: Eeeek! They're on me! Get them off!

-Skarl runs by with a HHA on his leg- Yeah! Get it off! GET IT OFF!

(For thos of you who don't know, HHA is the Horny Humping Armin :D)

_...where unexpected visitors can arrive at any moment._

Jazan: Damn, I look sexy riding on this uni, with my robes and hair blowing behind me, and my soft brown eyes staring straight ahead, with that serious look on my fa-Ack! I think a bug just hit me!

_And so our story-crosses out story- spoof begins. _


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

_A mysterious noble entered the city of Sakhmet full of confidence._

Jazan: Damn! That castle is the shiz!

Uni: Fo rizzle!

-Jazan rides through the town, waving to people crowding around him-

Nabile: Looks like Amira has another admirer.

Tomos: -giggles for no reason because he's gay like that-

Jazan: -places elegant hand upon his chest- I am Prince Jazan the Fourth...yadda yadda yadda. Basically, I came here from far away to see the Princess. Trekking this huge desert was a real bitch, so let me pass.

Blue Tonu Guard: Duh...nobody seez thuh princess without a appointmint.

Jazan: God, man. Are you retarded?

Blue Tonu Guard: Princess Amira alwayz sed I was thuh most speshal guard in her palace:)

Jazan: Ah, I see. Well anyways, I _do_ have an appointment...with destiny! -holds up scroll-

Uni: Psht, that was some corny line!

Brown Tonu Guard: Ohhh...pretty paper...

Jazan: Perhaps some coins will make you fine young men change your minds, eh? -leans over and nudges him- Psst...they got weed in 'em...

Purple Tonu Guard: -steps aside while winking- Well...you DO have an appointment after all!

Jazan: -whispers to himself- Yes...I'll make sure not to kill you when I take over this place...

Purple Tonu Guard: What was that?

Jazan: Oh, nothing! -walks on-

_The great hall of the palace is very grand indeed..._

_...where Princess Amira is holding council. _

Jazan: -bursts through curtains- Behold! I am Prince Jazan the Fourth, ruler of Qasala.I have travelled a great distance for an audience with the Princess.

Vyassa: Did you have to throw in that 'Behold'?

Amira: Shut up you! -turns to Jazan- What is the meaning of this? How dare you bursts in while I am holding court!

Jazan: -bows down- Forgive me Princess, it has been a long ride.

Me(from behind the curtains): Ugh! How could you bow to such a snobby, rich little daddy's girl!

Amira: Hmph! Did any of you just hear anything? I know I didn't! -grins innocently-

Me: Oh! You did NOT just diss me! -rolls up sleeve and starts walking towards her-

Von Roo: -pulls me back- Dear...what have I told you about letting others get to you?

Me: -pushes him away- Lemme go! That little bitch needs a foot! Right up her-(gets whacked on the head and dragged away)

Automated Voice in speaker: We apologize for any difficulties. You may now continue.

Amira: -yawns boredly- Let me guess, Prince of Who-Knows-Where. You are here to ask for my hand in marriage...

Jazan: How did you...? Of course, You already know. Then you shall come back with me at once, and we will be married before the month grows old.

Group of people: -gigglesnort- He's such a n00b at this! XD

Amira: How dare you! You shall have the same response as all the other suitors. No! I will never marry you, or anyone else for that matter!

Lisha: Aw, shucks! -walks away broken hearted-

Jazan: -holds up scroll- Oh, but you will! You are betrothed to me, and you will be my bride!

Amira: Guards! Take this fraudster...fraudster...what kind of word is that? Ugh, just see that this asshole leaves the city immediately!

Vyassa: Ohh...REJECTED, MUCH? XDD

Jazan: You will regret this! You are legally mine. I will be back!

_Furious, but with no choice, Prince Jazan rides out of Sakhmet. _

Tomos: Let's follow him Nabile. I'm sure he has more than enough cash to spare.

End of Chapter 2


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

_Two of the Desert Scarabs, Tomos and Nabile, follow the stranger far into the desert._

Tomos: -wipes away sweat from forehead- Whos stupid idea was this?

Nabile: -slaps him- Yours, you dumbass. Must I pull up Chapter 2 to remind you?

Tomos: No... -guilty wimper-

Nabile: Oh, shut yer trap and keep moving. -kersmacks him on the back of his head-

(They see a city in the distance)

Tomos: Where on earth are we?

Adam: -pops up- Actually, you're on Neopia, not Earth. That's were humans live!

Me: -whacks him on the head with an overripe ummagine and drags him away- Enough out of you!

(Next scene takes place with them in a crumbled, old building)

Nabile: -runs sand though her fingers- This place has been dead for a loooong time.

_The duo searched amongst the ruins trying to find clues as to where the mysterious prince and his Uni friend went. But they had little success._

Nabile: -smacks the narrator- Little? You mean no success! Ugh...I'm surrounded by idiots...Anyways! They can't just have disappeared. They must be hiding somewhere.

Nightsteed (from behind wall): Naww...ya think?

Jazan: -forces gag into his mouth- Shush!

Tomos: They're here--but where _is_ here? In all the stories of the desert, I've never heard about a ruined city.

_Back in Sakhmet, others are wondering the same thing._

_Amira orders her advisors to research into the prince's background and the city he claims to rule--Qasala. _

Shoyru: -scribbles something down with a quill, folds it up and passes it to the kacheek-

Kacheek: -opens it up and reads the note- -giggles and sends back a response-

Shoyru: -reads note- -writes response and sends note back again-

Ruki: Hey! We're supposed to be doing research! Not passing notes!

Shoyru and Kacheek: Sorry...

Ruki: Ugh...how stupid. Why do I have a candle if there's sunlight pouring in through those curtain-less windows?

Kacheek: Amira just likes to waste her daddy's wealth on useless crap like that.

Me (whispering from behind curtains): Hmph, maybe she should try waisting it on better makeup...

Other people behind curtain: -giggle-

Blumaroo: -walks by with huge stack of books- Echo...echo..echo...echo... Hey guys, this library echos!

Shoyru: Aw, sweet! -shouts- Qasala...Qasala...Qasala...

Kacheek: -shouts as well- Pizza...pizza...pizza...

(Echo comes from out of nowhere) Pot...pot...pot...Crack...crack...crack...YO MAMA...yo mama...yo mama...

Ruki: Where the heck did that come from?

Swordmaster Talek: -hides behind rack of books-

Me: Psht, anyways...(camera moves over to next scene)

Enarka: -kneels before princess- My lady, we have found something about this Qasala, but there can be no truth to the stranger's claims.

Amira: Really? Do go on. Why have I not heard of such a place?

Enarka: According to this historical redcord, Qasala WAS a thriving city with a well respected royal family. The whole city was obliterated in a terrible sandstorm over 200 years ago. I'll give this imposter some credit. He did his research, but he is no match for our records!

Amira: Ha, some research if he claims to be a ruler of a place destroyed over two centuries ago! What an idiot! But thank you Enarka -shakes shoyru's hand- As always you have proved invaluable.

_But Tomos and Nabile the street urchins know nothing of this, as they search the ruins for some sign of the mysterious prince._

Tomos (is now somehow on his ass after he got scared by a little scarabug that came outta nowhere): Let's go back Nabile. This place is spooky!

Nabile: We haven't found so much as a rusty coin. We're not going back without something to show for it. Now get up, you wuss!

Tomos: There's nothing here but dust and rocks. No coins, no prince, nothing! Let's go home while there's still enough light to see the way.

_With nothing to show for their trouble, the two friends head back to Sakhmet, unaware that they are being watched._

Nabile: Wait, did he just say we were being watched?

Guy with script: No, now keep moving.

(camera moves over to Jazan and Nightsteed hiding behind wall)

Jazan: See, my friend? They left without trouble.

Nightsteed: Woah...what happened to your robes? And..oh crap...what happened to my face? My beautiful, beautiful face! Unis aren't supposed to look like this! Oh, what am I going to do? WHAT AM I GOING TO DO? ACK, help me!

Jazan: -smacks him- Get ahold of yourself, man! Now, let me get back to my sinister moment there. -turns back to camera with eyes glowing red- But it won't be long before they become my loyal subjects, when the princess is mine and the prophecy has been fufilled. Mwahahaha!

Darth Vader: Hey! Stop trying to pull off a cheap imitation of me!

Jazan: Oh, shut up you!

Darth Vader: -pulls out lightsaber- Well bring it on, bitch!

Jazan: -goes into ninja pose- Ready when you are!

(Mortal Combat theme music plays)

Will Nabile and Tomos ever find out what's going on? Will the prophecy be fufilled? Will Nightsteed ever get back his beautiful face? Will there ever be this much smacking and whacking in the next chapter? And will Jazan and Darth Vader have a fight to the death? Find out soon!

**End of chapter 3**


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

_Back in Sakhmet, business carries on as usual._

_The Desert Scarabs continue to "borrow" from other citizens to make ends meet. _

Nabile: Ha ha! Sucker!

Grarrl in skirt: -shakes two fists- Hey! -turns and points a finger while still shaking his other fist at a ruki guard that came out of nowhere(really)-Those urchins have robbed me again! What are you going to do about it?

Ruki: Man, what crawled up YOUR ass and died? This gang is particularly sneaky. We've had a hard time catching any of them.

Grarrl: It's your job. I pay my taxes, y' know. The next time, I'll take my complaint directly to the Princess! How d' ya like them apples, foo?

Adam: -pops up- They're tchea fruits, not apples, silly! The blue bits of tchea fruit taste like banana, and the yellow bits taste li---gets thwacked on the head and tied to a pole-

Me: Enough out of you, you annoying little pest!

_The beautiful and extremely wealthy Princess, however, rarely concerns her high and mighty self with the problems of unworthy merchants. In all her shining and royal glory, she is in the midst of planning a--wait a second...who edited the script?_

Everyone: AMIRA! -glares at her-

Amira: -coughhackcough- Sorry...

_AHEM! -clears throat- The Princess, however, rarely concerns herself with the problems of common merchants. She is in the midst of planning a great celebration. _

Amira: This is going to be so grand, Enarka, I will make a public announcement today!

Enarka: Yes, my lady. I will begin the arrangements.

_The word soon spread throughout the city that the Princess will appear before her people. _

Town Idiot: -runs by again- The Princess is coming! THE PRINCESS IS COMING!

Random Wocky: Well, no duh! Isn't that what the papers just said?

Guys in white jackets: Don't listen to him, he doesn't know what he's saying...

_But unknown to Amira and her advisors, Prince Jazan has set out for Sakhmet once more. _

Random Voice: Well that's just great! Say it a little louder narrator, so everyone will frikin' know!

_Who said that?_

Swordmaster Talek: -runs off-

Jazan: -patting Nightsteed- Patience, my friend. She will not refuse me again.

Nightsteed: Did you ever think that maybe she just isn't interested in men? Personally, I think she's a lesbian...they're hot...

Jazan: Psh, one way or another, I will be wed...

(Next scene takes place with the Desert Scarabs sitting on a high wall)

Tomos: Ooooooh...Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall! Humpty Dumpty had a great fall! All the kings unis and all the kings men, couldn't put-

Nabile: Shut up.

Tomos: Yes ma'am...These ummagines are amazing. Pass me another, Horace.

Horace: -tosses one to him-

Tomos: Ack! That hit me in the nose!

Horace: -shrugs- Sorry!

Nabile: -points- Hey, what's that?

(Camera zooms in to show Jazan and Nightsteed)

Tomos: It's that fat rich guy we followed the other day! Let's get him!

Jazan: Hey! I'm not fat! The camera just adds on ten pounds!

Nabile: Jeezus...I really am surrounded by idiots. So we just jump down a 30-foot wall and ambush a noble in full view of the guards? No thanks! Besides, I have a better idea. Let's hide a little way out along the path and jump him as he leaves. What do you say, Horace? Are you in?

Horace: Er...no, thanks. Sounds pretty risky.

Tomos: Ugh...you're just too damn lazy. Well, what are we waiting for?

_And so Tomos and Nabile sneak out of the city to carry out their plan to ambush the Prince..._

Jazan: What did he say?

Guy with script: Nothing, now shut up.

_...as Princess Amira appears before her people to make the grand announcement. _

**End of chapter 4**


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5 (this is where it actually gets good)**

_Jazan rides confidently through the streets of Sakhmet, heading toward the grand palace._

_Outside the palace, Amira has a crowd gathered around her._

Amira: That's right, lowly merchants. Gather before me and praise my great power and beauty!

Narrator: Ahem, may I finish?

Amira: Wha? Oh yes, yes. Of course...-cough-

_She is to make a grand announcement and the populace is eagerly awaiting the news._

(Scene moves over to a cybunny and krawk whispering)

Cybunny: Ha, ha! No, I bet she has decided to wed that fat King with the big beard.

Jazan: I TOLD YOU! The camera just adds on ten pounds! I'M NOT FAT!

Skeith Spielburg: Cut! Yes, of course Jazan. Yer beautiful, but please, it's in the script!

Jazan: Drat! I apologize, can we try again?

Skeith Spielburg: Yes.

Dude with the black and white thingy: Lost Desert Spoof, chapter five. Take two.

Cybunny: Ha, ha! No, I bet she has decided to wed that fat King with the big beard.

Jazan: -doesn't say anything, though deep down he wants to kick some ass-

_The crowd quiets down as the Princess steps forward to speak._

_But before Amira can begin her announcement, the sea of on-lookers parts allowing Jazan to enter the plaza. _

Amira: On this f...fine...-cough- Sorry, on this fi-hack- -cough hack cough- I think I...think I swallowed a bug...-cough-

Enarka: Someone get her some water!

Swordmaster Talek: -pops up and hands Amira a glass of water-

Amira: -drinks water- Ahem..-clears throat- Ahh, that's better! On this fine day I have called you forth, citizens of Sakhmet, to inform you of a grand occasion.

Jazan: -kneels before Amira-

Me: Dammit! He's doing it again!

Von Roo: -gets tranquilizer gun ready- Remember what I told you...

Me: -whimpers- I'll be a good girl :( -pouts-

Jazan: Forgive me, my lady, for once more interrupting your affairs...

Amira: Oh, yes. Jazan of, let's see...Qasala, wasn't it?

Jazan: I see you have assembled your citizens to welcome me. Very well. I am honored-(gets whacked by Adam)

Adam: Spell it right!

Jazan: Oh, fine! -glares- I see you have assembled your citizens to welcome me. Very well. I am HONOURED that you wish to introduce me so quickly as your husband-to-be.

Vyassa: My gosh...is he kidding?

Amira: I will never wed a foolish imposter such as y-(Garin pops up)

Garin: Hey! I'm the only foolish one around here!

Amira: What the hell are you doing here?

Jacques: Dude, we're all here...

Psellia: -flies in- Yep!

Jazan: Go get your own plots!

Hannah: We HAVE our own plots! But they've been over for a while and no one cares about them!

Amira: Well, that's just too bad! We're trying to do a spoof here, do you mind?

Isca: Not really!

Skarl: What are you doing here in the desert? Aren't you a fish?

Isca: Well what are YOU doing here? I'm suprised you were able to get out of your comfortable throne. You're not as lazy as I thought! Besides, I'm here to make sure Garin doesn't do something stupid and get himself killed...

Jacques: DUDE! Be careful! That sign says 'Nuclear Waste Dump'!

Garin: Right! N-U-C-L-E-A-R! Playground! Weee! -runs around on the barrels-

Isca: -sigh- See what I mean? Come on, Garin. Time to get you to a hospital.

Jacques: -slaps forehead- NOT AGAIN!

Isca: Yep.

Garin: Hee hee...I like it when my feet glow that pretty green color...

Amira: ANYWAYS...I will never wed a foolish imposter such as you. There is no city of Qasala. I don't know who you are, but you are not welcome inside these city gates. Guards!

Amira: Where are my guards?

Meanwhile...

Guards(in a different room): This weed is the shiz...

Purple tonu guard: -rolls up another joint- Yeah...bitch...

Brown Tonu guard(is hanging over sofa with joint sticking outta his mouth): Yeah...

Nightsteed(is now in his ultra badass mummy form): I told you the weed was a good idea...-winkwinknudge-

Jazan: Princess, you will regret dishonor-

Adam: -glares-

Jazan: -sigh- DISHONOURING me!

(Bolts of pretty purple lights spark around his hands)

Random Citizen #1: What's happening to him?

Random Citizen #2: He's a monster! A FAT monster!

Jazan: -electrocutes him- THE CAMERA JUST ADDS ON! You will pay for mocking me. The armies of Qasala are stronger and more powerful than ever, as you will soon find out, dearest Princess. I ask you one last time to marry me an fulfil the prophecy that was set down ages ago.

Amira: You will never frighten me into marriage, you fiend!

_As Jazan's spell grows stronger, the citizens of Sakhmet flee to safety. _

_Outside Sakhmet, the Desert Scarabs have no idea what's happening within the city walls. _

Tomos: How rich do you think he is Nabile?

Nabile: Judging by all that blingage, rich enough to keep us well fed for quite some time, that's for sure.

(They both glance at the city)

Tomos: Nabile! What's happening to Sakhmet?

Nabile: -smacks him- How the hell am I supposed to know?

Tomos: Sorry, just trying to add some more story drama.

_Within the city, Jazan's spell transports Sakhmet and its inhabitants into an alternate dimension. _

Swordmaster Talek: -runs by- What did we see in the alternate dimensiiiiiiiiiioooooooon? We saw beans, lots of beans, lots of beans, lots of beans. Oooh beans, lots of beans, lots of beans, lots of beans, yeah!

Magical Trevor: -pops up and thwacks Talek with his magical leathery whip- Quit stealing words from my songs, you crazy asshole.

_Terrifying creatures from Jazan's world arrive and begin walking the streets._

Mummy: -groans- Oooh...-walks up to Amira and grabs her hair-

Amira: SON OF A-(jumps up and karate kicks him)

Mummy: -falls to the ground in pieces-

Amira: NOBODY touches the hair!

Me: Amira is suddenly more kick-ass. I don't hate her so much anymore :)

Amira: Damn right! -high-five's me-

Jazan: Since you refuse to let me join your world, then you must come live in mine! BWAHAHAHA!

Darth Vader: Ah yes, I couldn't have done better myself. You're a chip off the 'ol block!

Jazan: What's that supposed to mean?

Darth Vader: Jazan...I AM YOUR FATHER!

Jazan: NOOOOOOOOOOO-wait, really?

Will Nabile and Tomos ever find out what's happened to Sakhmet? Will Jazan finally get his bride? Will Talek ever see his beans again? Is Darth Vader REALLY Jazan's father? And will I ever stop asking these ridiculous questions? Find out next chapter!

**End. **(Oh yeah, you know you want more)


	6. Chapter 6

(Trust me people, this isn't a good chapter. This one's gonna suck.)

Jazan: -pops up-That's because I didn't appear in this chapter!

Me: -pushes him back down- Shush!

**Chapter 6**

Nabile: This can't be!

Tomos: Cities don't just disappear! -starts crying- Horace! The Scarabs! Everything! It's all gone!

Nabile: -hands him a tissue- It's okay Tomos. We will find them again--somehow.

Tomos: But where will we live? What will we do?

Nabile: -puts her hands on his shoulders- We'll go to the ruined city. It's the only place to find shelter for the night.

_With the light fading fast, the pair has no choice but to follow Jazan's tracks back to the ruins of Qasala._

(Next scene shows them walking into the ruined city)

Tomos: Man...this'll never win any Neohome spotlights...

Nabile: There has to be somewhere we can rest here.

_Finding a sheltered spot, Nabile and Tomos try to make themselves comfortable. _

_Little do they know, Sakhmet has not been destroyed.Everyone lives on in an altered dimension..._

Magical Trevor: Anyone seen my cow?

Cow: Moo. I'm eating beans. Moo.

Magical Trevor: -slaps forehead- I thought I sent you to the parallel dimension, not this damn altered one.

Cow: Nope.-eats more beans with Ragu- Moo.

_...where a swarm of undead creatures pursue them. _

Undead Wocky: Oooooh...I'm so scary...

Little aisha kid: -stares at him for a second- YOU SUCK! -kicks his leg and runs off-

Tonu Guard: Our plight worsens, my lady. All the city walls are breached. The people of Sakhmet are barricading themselves in their homes but more creatures pour in every minute.

Amira: Yeah, tell me something I don't know!

Tonu Guard: Uh...well...the town idiot is still out there...and he's wearing somebody's underwear on his head...

Amira: Ugh...something I DON'T know, not something I don't NEED to know!

_The citizens of Sakhmet can do little to protect themselves from the creatures..._

Blumaroo: -drags her kid into the house-

Undead Scorchio(in a slow, singsong, horror movie kind of voice): I see you...

Amira: It seems we are drastically outnumbered and as yet have discovered no means to thwart these monsters. We must find their weakness and save our people.

(Next scene moves to Nabile and Tomos in the ruined city)

_...while Nabile and Tomos sleep in what they think is the relative safety of the ruins._

-CRACK-

Nabile(suddenly wakes up): What was that? -leans over and shakes Tomos- Wake up, Tomos!

Tomos(is half awake): asdfjklagdhdf...Huh...what? -blinks-

Nabile: Quick, put out the fire. We don't want anyone to know we're here.

(Nightsteed walks by with killer flames coming from beneath his hoofs)

Nabile: GASP!

Tomos: -puts a hand over her mouth- SHH!

Adam: -pops up- Here, use this! -hands him Neopian Times issue 1-

Tomos: GASP! The lost issue! -thwacks Nabile over the head with it-

Nabile: Thankyou. -rubs head- Did you see that? What was it?

Tomos: I don't know, but I don't want it finding us. Keep quiet!

Nightsteed: Fee, fye, fo, fum! I smell the blood of...of...Oh fiddlesticks, what is that smell? It smells like...hmm...Gelert? Lupe? Argh, my sense of smell just isn't as good as it once was...Oh wait! I know! It's an ixi and a lupe! And they're right underneath my fe--gets tackled by Kyre-

Kyre: Weee heee! NIGHTSTEED! The steed of Night! -showers him with non-existant spoons- They don't exist, I tell ye!

Nightsteed: Eeep! Not you again! -runs away-

Kyre: -follows him- Wait! Get back here! I still have to shower you with yogurt!

Me: -pops up- It's the gurt of yo!

Kyre: Yes, that too.

Nabile: Phew! That was a close one!

**End.**

Behind the scenes:

(What, you thought that was all? Shame on you!)

Jazan: Well, this chapter sucked. It didn't even have a glimpse of me and my sexyness in it!

Me: Oh please, stop being so full of yourself. We really don't need another Garin.

Garin: Hey! I am not full of mysel-OH MY GOSH! WHERE IS MY MIRROR! Did I drop it somewhere? -grabs Jacques- Oh Jacques, please help me find my baby! I can't see my beautiful self without it!

Me: Yep. Full of yourself.

Jacques: Garin...your mirror is in your back pocket...

Garin: Oh, thank goodness!

Isca: -mutters- What a crybaby...

Me: So...who wants pizza?

Everyone: -raises hand-

Me: Okay. Extra cheese, pepperoni, sausage-

Jacques: Hee hee...I like sausage...

Garin: -backs away slowly- O.O!

Jacques: What? Sausage is good!

Me: ...and...OLIVES!

Everyone else: NOO!

Me: Aww fine! -dials number while grumbling- You guys suck...

(Okay, now there's really no more. We all want to eat our pizza in peace)

Darth Vader: Yeah, and I'm not really Jazan's father...for any of you who were wondering..

Narrator: But I'm still going to ask ridiculous questions!

Sloth: -pull out laser-

PLEASE STAND BY

Me: No! No! Shoo! All of you pesky people! REALLY!


	7. Chapter 7

Jazan: Weeee! I'm in this one!

Me: Shh!

**Chapter 7**

_In the ruins of Qasala, Tomos and Nabile pray that the terrible uni doesn't see them._

-Scarabug flies by and scares Tomos-

Tomos: Eep! -accidentally hits arm on wall-

-THUNK-

Nabile: Aw, hell no!

Nightsteed: Ha! I found you! You're it!

Nabile: Not this time, sucka! Run!

(Nabile and Tomos run off)

Nabile: Faster, Tomos!

Tomos: Quick, in here!

Nabile: Wait, how did you get in front of me?

Tomos: Blame them! -points to the Neopet artists-

Nightsteed: There is no use hiding, little ones. I will find you soon enough! I know you are close, I can smell your fear.

Nabile: Um, no, that's just Tomos' B.O.

Tomos: Hey!

Nabile: -shrugs-

Tomos: There's no way out!

Nightsteed: Do you know what happens to intruders in Qasala?

Nabile: -accidentally pushes on a lever with her foot-

-CLICK!-

(they both fall down a trap door)

Tomos and Nabile: AAAAAAAHHHHHH!

(camers moves under them to show them falling from a cooler angle)

Tomos and Nabile: YAAAHHH!

Nabile: You'd think the camera crew could help us out!

Tomos: Damn them!

Nightsteed: Well, at least they saved me the bother of-

Harry Potter Puppet Pal: BOTHER! -hits Nightsteed-

Ron Puppet Pal: Bother Bother Bother! -thwacks him-

Nightsteed: Ack! BEGONE! -throws them down the trap door-

Harry Potter Puppet Pal: Hee hee, I like the part where he stopped moving.

Ron Puppet Pal: He never stopped moving..

Harry Potter Puppet Pal: Oh yeah, right!

(They both continue falling) Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhh!

Nighsteed: Mwahahaha! Hogwarts is now mine!

Me: -inconspicuously coughs-

Nightsteed: Oh..yes...um...where was I? Oh yes, at least they saved me the bother of-

Echo from deep inside the trap: BAAAAAAAAH-THEERRRRRRR!

Nighsteed: -of taking care of them. Now to see if Jazan needs me.

_But back in Sakhmet, the Princess has more pressing matters than a proposal of marriage._

Amira: I need some answers, now! Tell me, General Dacon. How can we fight these creatures?

Dacon (a grey tonu guard): This city has not been attacked for centuries. Most of our soldiers are guarding the borders. If we could get word to them...

Voice from nowhere: Ha! Your names rhymes with bacon! XDDD

Dacon: Who said that? -glares at everyone in the room-

Swordmaster Talek: -hides in the shadows-

Jazan: Princess, I do not want to have to do things this way, but I have no choice.

Amira: How dare you subject my people to this! I will never wed such a monster!

Jazan: Very well my Princess. You have one week to change your mind, or I will let these creatures outside rip your precious city apart!

Amira: -stunned and awkward silence- -eye twitch-

Vyassa: I guess he told joo! -snaps fingers- Mmmm hmm!

Baco-I mean...Dacon: Fear not, Princess. Much can be done in a week. I already have a plan that may save our people!

**End.**

(More behind the scenes stuff)

Pizza Guy: -knocks on door-

Von Roo: -answers door- Where were you LAST chapter? We've been waiting this whole frikin' time! -tackles the pizza guy and bites his neck-

Me: What a man! -grins-

Jacques: You remembered the sausage, right?

Garin: Eww...you like that "sausage" a little too much..

Pizza Guy: -is a mindless, blood drained zombie-

Me: Weee-heeee! Another minion to boss around!

Vyassa: Hey, who wants to play a game of Spin-The-Bottle? -winks-

Everybody except Jazan, Amira, and Enarka (Skarl wasn't allowed to play): -raises hand-

Vyassa: -drags Jazan, Amira, and Enarka into the game-

Jazan, Amira, and Enarka: Noooooo!

Vyassa: Yes! -spins bottle-

-bottle lands on Jazan-

Jazan: o.o!

Vyassa: Eee hee hee! -kisses Jazan-

Jazan: USUL GERMS! ACK!

Hannah and Garin: HEY!

Jazan: -sigh- -spins bottle-

-bottle lands on(dare I say it?) Enarka-

Jazan: OH, MOTHER F-(violent swearing)

Enarka: O.O

Jazan: Do I have to?

Everyone: YES!

Jazan: Ooooh...fine! -grabs Enarka-

Enarka: Ew, ew, ew, ew, ew...

Jazan: -slowly moves his face towards Enarka's-

Amira: The drama's killing me!

Jazan: PUT THAT CAMERA AWAY!

Swordmaster Talek: -hides camera-

Enarka: Oh God...Oh God...Oh God...JUST GET IT OVER WITH!

Jazan: -kisses Enarka-

(They both push each other away as fast as they can)

Enarka: Aaaaaah! I'VE BEEN KISSED BY A VILLIAN!

Jazan: Blech! -rubs tongue on soap-

Me: -dies laughing- HAHAHAHAHAHA! XDDDD

Enarka: I'm done playing! Someone take my turn!

Jacques: Okay! -spins bottle-

-bottle lands on Benny-

Jacques and Benny: YES!

(They both lip-lock)

Garin: HURK! -holds finger up to mouth as he runs to the bathroom-

Hannah: AWWWW! NASTY!

Isca: O.o

Amira: Oh my..

Brina: -pops up- XDDDDD! -kicks feet and giggles-

Darigan: Waah! She dragged me here-by my ears!

Vyassa: Then you can play too!

Benny: Someone take my turn, I'd never kiss anyone other than my lover.

Hannah: My turn then! -spins bottle-

-bottle lands on a bookshelf nearby-

Hannah: T.T

Everyone: YOU HAVE TO KISS A BOOKSHELF! -die laughing-

PLEASE STAND BY

No one is currently alive right now. Everyone seems to have died from laughing. Thankyou and please enjoy the rest of your day.

(speaker turns off)


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8**

_Outside in the city, chaos reigns as Jazan's creatures search for their prey._

Mummy Nimmo: I want their braaaaaaains...

Mummy Scorchio: Pffft, what brains?

Random Townperson: Hey! we r pl3nty sM4rt!

Mummy Nimmo: SURE you are...

Town Idiot: -runs by- The end has come! THE END HAS COME!

Guys in the white jackets: Get back here you!

Mummy Scorchio: If he's just an idiot, then why are you guys after him?

Guy in white jacket #1: Because he's not just an idiot, he's also crazy.

Mummy Scorchio: Oh, I see. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to get back to terrorizing people.

Guy in white jacke #2: Carry on.

_The citizens of Sakhmet have found their only defence is to stay barricaded inside their homes._

Wocky: Oh no! I'm claustrophobic! Aahh! Aaahh! I'm gonna suffocate! I'm gonna die! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!

Korbat: -smacks him- Get a hold of yourself, man!

Wocky: -whimpers-

(Next scene shows Amira)

Ruki: Please Your Highness, you must accept this prince's proposal of marriage.

Amira: What makes you think he will keep his promise?

Jazan: 'Cuz I'm trustworthy! Right guys? Right? Am I right? Huh?

-crickets chirp-

Jazan: Yeah, that's what I thought.

Amira: Whatever evil he has planned I want no part in. Perhaps General Bacon will find a way.

Enarka: You mean Dacon.

Amira: Right. That.

(Scene moves to Dacon tryin' to look all badass with his torch)

Dacon: Come on men. There must be a way out somewhere.

(And when they get outside...)

Elephante that was in the group: Gasp! The... The borders are gone...

Dacon: Oh my good golly gosh! Escape is not an option then.

_Meanwhile, in a quiet part of Sakhmet, some of the Desert Scarabs are trying to come up with a plan._

Grarrl in skirt: -smacks forehead- I can't believe I let you in. You are going to eat all my livlihood!

Me: -pops up- What the hell kind of line is that? 'You are going to eat all my livlihood'?

Grarrl in skirt: Don't blame me...it's in the script...

Horace: If I remember rightly we saved you from those things. The least you can do is spare us a bit of food.

Grarrl in skirt: Why do you always have your eyes closed?

Horace: -shrugs-

_Forced since birth to live by their wits, the Desert Scarabs can be more resourceful than even soldiers. They begin to form a plan of their own._

Zafara: I'm going to point to this spot on this piece of paper to make it look like I'm doing something important.

Techo: w00t.

_Having returned to the War Room, General Dacon reports his findings to Amira and the rest of the council._

Dacon: Your Highness, there is nothing outside but ferocious sand storms. No one would survive out there. We cannot leave the city.

Amira: Well, this certainly just makes my day!

Kacheek: Well, what are we to do? We can't just sit here! Let's fight those things!

Amira: With what army, genius? Most of our soldiers are trapped in the sandstorm outside. Even the palace guard is scattered across the city.

Enarka: Ew. o.o

Amira: Oh, that's not what I meant! To fight out there would be suicide. -holds out scroll to Dacon- General, send out scouts throughout the city. There must be a way to stop these creatures. And maybe we can gather some of our soldiers together.

_While Amira's scouts enter the city, the Scarabs continue to argue about the best way to defeat the monsters..._

Techo: No, bombs! Lots of bombs!

Horace: You idiot! That would kill us too!

Zafara: How about some zombie-be-gone?

Horace: Where are we supposed to get that?

Zafara: I dunno, just making suggestions!

Horace: Yeah, well stop doing that. Just stand there and look pretty. So anyways, what do y'all think of bazookas?

_...Tomos and Nabile find themselves in equally dire circumstances back in the ruined city._

Tomos: Ooof! Are you ok?

Nabile: Yeah, just a few bruises, nothing's broken. Where are we?

Tomos: We must be under the ruins. Maybe their is a way out.

Nabile: Hey, wait a minute, do you hear something?

Tomos: Yeah...I think it's coming from above us.

-they both look up-

Harry and Ron puppet pals: Bother bother bother! -land on Tomos and Nabile-

Ron PP: Hee hee! That was fun!

Harry Pottet PP: Yes! I like the part where we landed.

Ron PP: Let's do it again!

Harry Potter PP: I'm afraid we don't have any legs...

Ron PP: Oh, bother!

Nabile: I have a bad feeling about this.

(Next scene shows them above a huge empty pit)

Nabile: It doesn't look like we have much choice. Here goes!

-they both jump down-

-CREEEEEEEEAK!-

Tomos: What was that?

Nabile: Another trap.

Tomos: Mother f-(beeeeeeeeeeep)

(Water starts filling up in the pit)

Nabile: This place is a real bitch. What are we going to do now?

-They huddle close together-

Tomos and Nabile: Help!

Ron PP: Like anyone's going to hear you!

**End. (ooooh...suspenseful,eh?)**


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9**

_When we last left Tomos and Nabile, they were trapped in a watery prison. Let's see how they're doing._

Tomos: What do you think?

Nabile: I wish we had never left Sakhmet!

_Desperate to find a way out, Tomos dives under the water. _

_He spots an unusual tile and-_

Tomos: -runs into it- Ow! Why didn't I see that one coming?

_Anyways...the water flowing into the chamber stops._

Nabile: Yay, we're saved! And my hair didn't even get wet! Thank God for that!

Tomos: -empties water from hat- Phew! I thought we were done for there!

-RUMMMMMMMMMMBLE!-

Nabile: DAMMIT! NOW WHAT?

Tomos: -grabs Nabile and pulls her back- Look out!

(rocks fall)

(Chamber opens and the water gushes out, carrying the two with it)

Nabile: My hair got wet! NOOOOOOOO!

Tomos: Where are we now?

Nabile: Hmmm...some kind of room with weapons.

-Swordmaster Talek runs by with a chainsaw- Hee hee! WEAPONS!

Tomos: You check out that room. I'll look through here.

Nabile: Whatev. Just don't go too far. We don't want to lose each other. I wish we had some of the other Scarabs with us!

_But back in Sakhmet, Horace and the others are facing problems of their own._

Zafara: Hell yeah we got a problem! I just broke a nail!

Garin: Oh, that's the worst! I feel your pain, girlfriend!

Techo(but we'll call him Bob): I'm telling you they are blind, or at least have bad vision. One of them passed right by me!

Zafara(but we'll call her Bill): Um...

Horace: Bill? O.o

(They all stare at the guy with the script)

Guy with script: Oh fine! They'll call you Ashley!

Ashley: Yay! Anyhoo...They are not blind! One chased me through the streets very well, I barely escaped.

Bob: You callin' me a liar? -holds up dagger threateningly-

Horace: Well you had better hope they are deaf too, with the amount of noise you two are making!

(Mummy breaks through door with a loud craaaaaaaaack)

Horace: Here they come!

Ashley: Well no duh! You don't have to tell us! I mean it just busted through the door for Pete's sake!

_No matter what the Scarabs throw at the monsters, nothing seems to break their stride. They just keep coming._

Bob: We need more ammo!

Ashley: I'm all out of anti-aging cream!

Bob: Noooooo! Now what will we throw?

Ashley: Um...exfoliating sponges?

Horace: This isn't a beauty salon, no matter how much they need a makeover...

Jacques: It...It's not? -runs off crying- I wanted to be beautiful!

Bob: These things are unstoppable!

Grarrl in skirt: -picks up a chair- Aiii! That does it! -smashes chair over monster's head-

-WHAP!-

_The blow from the cha-_

Brandini: -pops up- Hee hee, you said 'blow'!

Narrator: Yes...well...um...-coughs- May I continue?

Brandini: Yes...

_The blow from the-_

Brandini: HA! You said it again!

_-sigh- The blow from-_

Brandini: HAA HAHAHA HAA HAA! xDDD -rolls around on floor laughing his arse off-

_THE BLOW FROM THE CHAIR KNOCKS THE MONSTER UNCONSCIOUS._

Brandini: -giggles slightly-

_Suprised, the Scarabs quickly follow suit._

_In just moments the Scarabs and the fruit vendor have dispatched the remaining monsters, leaving their exit clear._

(they all walk out holdin' clubs and stuff)

Swordmaster Talek: -runs by again- Yeah, but I have a chainsaw! Mwahahaha!

Bob: Well we can't stay here any longer, let's try to find somewhere safe.

Brandini: Y'all can hide in my pants -winkwink-

Horace: Yeah, um...I think we'll pass...

Brandini: You straight people are no fun!

**End.**


	10. Chapter 10

Jazan: Ugh, once again, I do not appear in a chapter!

Nightsteed: Don't feel bad, I didn't either.

Adam: Yeah, and neither did I!

Me: -smacks them all with one of those huge cell phones from the 80's- BE QUIET!

Nightsteed: Ow! You could have given us all internal brain damage with one of those things!

**Chapter 10**

_Sneaking their way along the streets, the Scarabs discover that even though the monsters are not blind, their vision is limited._

Mummy Usul: Ooooh...I'm big and scary an-OOF! -walks into wall-

_Yep, definitely limited. So limited, in fact, that if they stay perfrectly still, the monsters just pass them by._

Mummy Kyrii: Since when did they put up so many statues?

Mummy Usul: Yeah, and so realistic too. This one even smells!

Ashley: Bob! Did you forget to put on deodorant this morning?

Bob: Sorry...

Elephante Scout: -is behind them- These fools are going to get themselves killed wandering around like that! -grabs Bob and the fruit vendor- What do you think you're doing? You should be inside, the streets aren't safe.

Horace: Hey, shouldn't you be chasing after that dude from Grand Theft Ummagine?

Elephante Scout: Yeah... BUT THAT'S NOT IMPORTANT RIGHT NOW! The streets aren't safe!

Bob: -fixes sleeve- Rubbish! We have just beaten three ourselves and escaped loads more.

_The scout listens with interest as the Scarabs explain how they defeated the three monsters and snuck past all the others._

Elephante Scout: This is wonderful. Quick, you must come to the palace and tell this to the guards.

Ashley: You mean like Bacon?

Elephante Scout: You mean Dacon.

Ashley: I do?

Horace: -nudges her-

Ashley: Oh, right! I do. It's Dacon...of course...

_As the scout hurries to bring the Scarabs to the palace, Princess Amira finds that she has more troubles--this time from her own court._

Chomby: With all due respect my lady, perhaps you should just end this all. Accept the Prince's proposal and we can all go back to normal.

Amira: How dare you suggest such a thing! Who I marry is none of your business. I will never wed Jazan!

Guy with script: Hey! That wasn't the line! You were supposed to say, "I will not wed that fraudster!"

Amira: Screw you. That's a gay word. -walks away in a huff-

Ruki(to a Kougra): What a spoilt brat! How can she be so selfish?

Me: -pops up- Hah! I knew it! Y'all think she's a spoilt brat too! -does a victory dance-

Von Roo: That's enough out of you. What have I told you about eating so much sugar?

Me(not listening while dragged away): I knew it. I knew it. I knew it. -is still doing the dance-

Kougra: She could end this all now, and I could return to my family!

(Scene moves over to Elephant Scout walking Scarabs and fruit vendor down a hall)

Elephante Scout: I think General Bacon himself will want to hear what you have to say.

Ashley: I thought you said it was Dacon?

Elephante Scout: Really? Did I say that? -laughs-

_The General is indeed interested in the news, and takes the Scarabs directly in to see the Princess._

Dacon: Your Highness, it seems these monsters are not unstoppable after all. These children have discovered a way to beat them.

Amira: Is this true? Did you really beat three of them?

Horace: Ye...yes Princess, I swear it is the truth.

Amira: General, have your men equip themselves with heavy blunt weapons-

Swordmaster Talek: -runs by again- Ha ha! WEAPONS!

Amira: Go into the street and free my people. Bring them to the safety of the palace!

Dacon: -bows- With pleasure, Your Majesty.

_As the royal guard and the Scarabs set out to free the citizens of Sakhmet..._

_...Tomos enters the ancient armory of-_

Adam: SPELL IT RIGHT, DAMMIT!

_-sigh- Tomos enters the armoury of Qasala. He finds all sorts of marvellous weapons, like nothing he has ever seen before._

Me: If you'll closely at the sword leaning against the farthest wall in that picture, it looks like-

Garin: Eep! What's my sword doing in this plot?

Kanrik: Psh, what was my blade doing in chapter two of YOUR plot?

Garin: Uhh...we can explain! o.o

_At the same time, Nabile enters the dusty room and finds to her amazement all sorts of old scrolls and text._

Nabile: -touches some ancient tablets- Wow, these are so beautiful. If only I knew what thy meant. -starts copying down the carvings on the tablets onto a piece of paper- I know I can figure this out. Come on Nabile, use your brain!

Me: Wait, where did you get that quill?

Nabile: O.o I have no idea...

**End.**


	11. Chapter 11

Jazan: Pwn! I'm totally in this one!

Nightsteed: Why aren't I?

Jazan: Because you're just a secondary character, I'm sorry to say...

Me: If y'all don't shut up...

Jazan: Yes ma'am! -puts tape over Nightsteed's mouth-

Nightsteed: Mmmf fmmm mmmmph!

Jazan: What?

Nighsteed: T.T

**Chapter 11**

(Scene shows Nabile still looking at tablets)

Nabile: Oh my goodness, that is such a sad tale. Tomos, listen to this.

Tomos: -walks in- This had better be important.

Nabile: Yeah, it is. What were _you_ doing that was so important?

Tomos: Uhh...n-nothing...

Nabile: Were you-

Tomos: -puts hand over her mouth- SHHHH! Someone could be listening...

Nabile: Eww! Don't touch me with those hands!

Tomos: Sorry...now what did you need to tell me?

Nabile: -reads paper- Once a noble prince, Jazan of Qasala was struck by a terrible curse. One night his entire city was transformed into a thing of nightmares. His people became monsters. None were spared.

Swordmaster Talek: Aww, now I feel bad for whackin' 'em!

Nabile: How is it that you're able to be in two places at once?

Swordmaster Talek: Umm...-runs off-

Nabile: Anyways...Jazan was doomed to live a tortured existence until he weds the Princess of Sakhmet. When true love unites, Qasala will live again.

Jazan: HA! I knew it! We were meant for each other!

Amira: -glares-

Jazan: WHY DO YOU HATE ME? I'd be a good husband!

Amira: Ugh...why couldn't Vyassa be the oldest? I don't care if you marry her!

Jazan: Usuls are icky!

Sally: Hey! WE ARE NOT!

Amira: What are you doing here? You belong in the Battle for Meridell thing.

Sally: Uh...I was never here! -runs off- -trips over sword- Ooof! That never happened! -continues running 'til she disappears around the corner-

Amira: -mutters- Wierdo..

Tomos: Sounds like a load of mushy rot to me. Trust you to waste your time on a silly story, Nabile. Come see this!

Nabile: No! You hurt my feelings..

Tomos: I'm sorry...

Nabile: Really?

Tomos: No.

Nabile: T.T

Tomos: Okay, yes.

Nabile: Alright. I'll come with you.

Tomos: -is hunched over table with rings and such- Can you imagine how much these things are worth? -reaches for one-

Nabile: Tomos, don't!

Tomos: Too late! I already picked it up!

-Spirit of the ruins appears- Yeeeee-HAW! I'm free, bitchaz!

Nabile: -smacks Tomos with Garin's purse- What have you done? YOU IDIOT! Just for that...-smacks him again-

Garin: Hey! That's mine you fiend!

Usa: I'll take that! -runs by Nabile and grabs the purse-

Me: Go, Usa! GO!

Anta: -is also there- 'Sup?

Me: Nuttin'. You?

Anta: I'm good.

Me: How are the Neoboards?

Anta: You know, same old schtuff.

Me: That's cool.

Anta: Yep.

Me: Hey wait, where are-(gets trampled by Usa's mole people)

Usa: Oops..forgot to put them on their leashes...

Me: Curse you all for forcing me to put you in my spoof!

Usa: -grins-

Tomos and Nabile: -run away from Spirit of the ruins- AAARRRRRGGGHHHH!

Nabile: Tomos, you scream like a gir-whoops! -falls into spike trap-

Tomos: Look out! -grabs her-

Nabile: I hate this place!

Tomos: I hate it more than you!

Nabile: Nuh uh!

Tomos: Yeah huh!

Nabile: Hey look! That skeleton has a rope with a grappling hook! Oh joyous day! -grabs it- If this catches, we might be able to get out.

Tomos: Eww...I can't believe you just did that!

Nabile: Oh please, while I was reading in the other room you were-

Tomos: SHHHH!

(Grappling lands on firm ground) -THUNK!-

Nabile and Tomos: -pulls themselves out of the trap-

Tomos: That whatever-it-was seems to have vanished. Maybe it thought the pit had finished us.

Nabile: Or maybe it went off to-

Tomos: SSHHHHHHH!

Nabile: Don't go picking up anything else. Goodness knows what might happen to us...

Tomos: Eh, heh...

Nabile: According to those tablets, there was a Prince named Jazan who fell under a terrible curse. He must be the one trying to marry Princess Amira. Let's go back to the Library. We have to find a way to lift the curse and free both Jazan and Sakhmet.

Tomos: Fine. -mutters- Nerd...

Nabile: What?

Tomos: Nothing!

_Back in Sakhmet, Jazan watches as families are rescued from the monsters and escorted to the safety of the palace. _

Jazan: It seems these people are more resourceful than I thought. It's time things became a little harder for them. -turns around to pet Scordrax, his two-headed pet-

Scordrax head #1: -thumps leg- Ooh..yeah...that's the spot right there. Right behind the ear...

Head #2: You idiot! We don't have ears!

Head #1: Oh yeah!

(Scordrax flies down)

Townspeople: AHHHH!

Jazan: Oh yeah! I rock!

_To be continued..._

**End.**


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter 12**

When we last left the citizens of Sakhmet, Scordrax was terrorizing them and they fled to the palace.

_The guards assemble the refugees inside the Great Hall at the Palace of Sakhmet._

Amira(speaking to a Lenny): Do what you can to make these people comfortable. The palace kitchens are well stocked. Make sure everyone is fed and warm.

Skarl: -pops up- Did someone mention food?

Hannah: -walks in covered in snow- And warmth?

Amira: Not for old, forgotten plot characters like you!

Hannah: Hey! Your plot will be be over some day too!

Jeran: Yeah, and besides, people still remember us! I mean look at me! I'm damn sexy!

Kass: I'll say...

Jeran: Excuse me?

Kass: What? I didn't say anything! O.O

Amira: -sigh-

Acara Guard: -runs up- Princess Amira! Come quickly!

Amira: What is it?

Acara Guard: Look out the window!

Amira: Oh, very well. -walks over and looks out a window- I don't see anything... just sand and more sand.

Acara Guard: Your _other_ window!

Amira: Oh...I knew that... -looks out other window-

(theif runs by with purse)

Garin: Eeeee! Give that back, you meanie!

Amira: Umm...okay..

Acara Guard: Hellllooooo! Did you not see the ferocious flames?

Amira: Oh...I guess I didn't... -looks out window again- Wait! NOW I see them!

Acara Guard: Annnnd...?

Amira: What?

Me: -coughs-

Amira: Oh! Right! That fiend, how dare he do this! I am going to find that monster and settle this once and for all.

(Amira walks out onto palace platform)

Jazan: Ah, my princess. At last you have come to accept my proposal.

Amira: Is this what you want? To rule a city in flames?

Swordmaster Talek: -runs by with a fire extinguisher- Mooooove outta the way! Maraquan Draik with a fire extinguisher comin' through! -makes fire truck sounds- Weeee-woooooo! Weeeee-woooooo! THIS IS AN EMERGENCY! NOBODY, I repeat, NOBODY PANIC! Oh, for the love of Pete don't panic! Don't panic! Don't frikin' panic! Ahhh! Ahhhh! AHHHH! DON'T PANIC! AAAHHHH! REMAIN CALM! AAAAAAHHHHH! -runs around in circles- REMAIN CALM! REMAIN CALM! I'll SAVE YOU! I HAVE THIS LIFE-SAVING DEVICE! AAAHHH!

Amira: A dinky little fire extinguisher? Oh joy, we're saved.

Jazan: Where were we?

Amira: I was bitching and complaining, as usual.

Jazan: Oh yeah, right. Continue.

Amira: With pleasure! Is THIS what you want? To rule a city in flames? To marry a princess who despises you and can't stand to be near you?

Jazan: You have no idea what it is like to live like this. What does love matter?

Amira: What do you MEAN 'what does love matter'? The whole point of marriage is to spend the rest of your life with someone you love!

Jazan: O.o Really? Man, what was I thinking? I was way off...

Amira: This is insanity! The only thing you've offered my people is death and misery!

Random Townsperson: And third degree burns!

Amira: Yes, and third degree burns.

Jazan: Only if you deny me.

Amira: Look, I can't marry you. You're damn fine...and I hate to compliment you..but I can't spend the rest of my glamorous life wih you just because you have a nice face-

Jazan: Don't forget my awsome bod.

Amira: -and your awsome body..

Jazan: Look at you...you know you want me.

Amira: I'll never admit to that..

Jazan: -holds up ring- Take this ring now, Princess Amira. The moment you put it on, you will be my wife and the torment of your people will end.

Amira: Oooh...blingage...hard to...resist...

_At that same moment, back in Qasala, Nabile makes a startling discovery._

Nabile: -holding up a book- Listen to this, Tomos. It says when the curse is lifted Jazan isn't the only thing that will live again...

Tomos: -scratches head- What does that mean?

Nabile: I have no idea. Maybe his city will be restored or something? Poor Jazan, imagine how wretched his life must be.

Tomos: Ooo, the poor cursed prince. I think you're falling in love with him.

Nabile: -slams book shut- I am not in love with anybody, now shut up. There might be something in here that can help us.

Tomos: -makes kissy faces- Nabile is in love! Kissy-kissy! She's in love with a freak.

Nabile: -holds out hand-

Jacques: -hands her his bag of makeup-

Nabile: -smacks Tomos with it-

Tomos: Oww..-rubs face-

Nabile: Will you cut it out?

Tomos: Yes..

Nabile: -goes back to reading book- There's something about the rings in here. Each one has a purpose, one will help lift the curse, one holds powers of witchcraft. One will take the bearer home if he is lost...

Tomos: -looks at his ring- I wonder which one _this_ is? Only one way to find out.

Nabile: Tomos, don't!

_Trying to stop Tomos from wearing the ring, Nabile throws her arms around Tomos, hoping to knock the ring from his grasp._

Tomos: Heh, too late! It's already on my finger!

Nabile: You really like screwing up, don't you? -punches him- When will you ever learn?

(Ring magically transports them to the Palace, inbetween Jazan and Amira as they're about to kiss)

Tomos: Oooh...did we disturb something? -giggles-

Amira: Uh...no! We weren't doing anything!

Nabile: He turns you on, doesn't he?

Amira: No!

Jazan: Yeah..she was just, uh...testing my breath!

Tomos: Oh, she was?

Nabile: -smacks him- No! You dummy!

Guy with script: Hey! Say your correct lines!

Tomos: Oh..right..

Nabile: Okay, let's try that again. We just appeared before these two...

Amira and Jazan: -act suprised-

Nabile: Out of the frying pan...

Tomos: ...and into the fire!

**End.**

(Behind the scenes stuff)

Nabile: Okay Tomos, let's test your I.Q.

Me: You know it'll be like...two or something...

Nabile: Well, let's find out anyway.

Dacon: Hey, where is princess Amira?

Nightsteed: Screw her! Where is Jazan?

Jeran: Hee hee...you said screw..

_And after Jeran's statement, it slowly dawns on everyone..._

Me: O.O

Dacon: Ewww!

Nightsteed: PLEASE tell me he isn't!

Kass: Well, he is pretty sexy after all..

-everybody stares at him-

Kass: What? I didn't say anything! -runs off-

Me: Let's all pretend that we never talked about any of this.

Nightsteed: Way ahead of you.

Nabile: -comes back with Tomos' I.Q. test results- Hey everybody! I'm back! The results say his I.Q. is...oh..this can't be right...

Me: -looks at the paper- Hmm...zero point three? Yep, sounds about right.

Tomos: Hee hee..I'm special...

Kass: And pretty sexy...

-everybody stares at him again-

Kass: What?


	13. Chapter 13

**Chapter 13**

Me: Dammit! I can't believe this plot's almost over!

Amira: What are you doing in my castle?

Me: I flew...

Skeith Spielburg: Get outta the plot, crazy faerie lady!

Me: Hey! This spoof was my idea anyway!

Jazan: Your ruining it.

Me: Oh fine! -stomps off-

Jazan: Where were we?

Nabile: We just appeared.

Jazan: Oh, yes. Who are these intruders? Guards! Seize them and make them tap dance in stupid outfits!

Guard: What? o.O

Jazan: I mean, keep an eye on them!

Amira: Uhh...EXCUSE me? You have no authority to give orders in MY palace!

Vyassa: -pops up and snaps fingers- She told joo! Mmmhmmm!

Amira: I am the Princess of this city! I give the orders!

Jazan: Ahem, in case you hadn't noticed, darling, you no longer rule Sakhmet. I do!

Amira: When did THIS happen? I never accepted your proposal!

Jazan: Look at your finger..

Amira: Oh fine. -looks at finger- I don't see anything...

Jazan: Your _other_ finger!

Amira: Oh, I knew that... -looks at other finger-

Jazan: Do you see now?

Amira: O.O HOW DID THIS RING GET ON MY FINGER?

Jazan: You weren't drugged if that's what you're thinking! -shifty eyes-

Amira: Oh my gosh, you DRUGGED me?

Jazan: Uh..no...

Amira: Where did you get the drugs?

Swordmaster Talek: -hides behind a sack full of weed-

Jazan: Uh...yeah, anyways, my first command is for the people of Sakhmet to prepare a royal wedding, which shall take place tomorrow. Displease me, and I shall unleash more terrors on you.

Amira: Gee, what a great husband...

Jazan: I know, right?

(crickets chirp)

_With no choice and in terror for their lives, Amira and her servants return to the palace to fulfil Jazan's orders._

Jazan: That includes you, narrator.

_Narrator: Awwwww...F-(violent swearing)_

(scene moves to Tomos sitting on a stool)

_Forgotten in the wedding preparations, Tomos waits under guard inside Jazan's Tower._

(scene moves to Nabile and a Pteri)

_And also being watched over, Nabile makes better use of her time._

Nabile: I have read the ancient tablets in Qasala. I know your Prince is not evil at heart, but under a curse.

Pteri Handmaiden: No one has ever bothered to learn our history or know the wickedness that aflicts us.

Nabile: If I can talk to the Prince, maybe we can find some way to lift the curse without hurting anyone else.

Pteri Handmaiden: The curse says he must marry a Sakhmet princess, and Amira is the only one. Stupid, stubborn brat that she is...

Amira: Hey! I'm not a stupid, stubbor-(gets tackled by Jazan and drugged)

Jazan: What was that, sweetie? -forces a smile-

Amira(is now super high): asdfkflglflkads...

Jazan: That's what I thought.

Nabile(brushing hair): Getting back on subject, the tablets said the curse will be lifted "when true love unites." Jazan doesn't love her, and it's clear she will never love him.

Swordmaster Talek: She will if she's drugged and has no idea what's going on!

Nabile: T.T

Swordmaster Talek: -guilty whimper- Okay, I think I'll leave now..

Pteri Handmaiden: -holds up a dress- Well you had better put on something less tatty if you intend to address the prince. Although I don't see what good you can do...

Garin: Wow! A dress for ME?

Pteri Handmaiden: Ummm...no.

Garin: -runs off crying-

Nabile: -puts it on- O.o Woah...DIS DRESS IS DA SHIZ!

Pteri Handmaiden: What did you say?

Nabile: Err...this dress is beautiful...

Pteri Handmaiden: That's what I thought you said. It once belonged to Jazan's mother, the queen. She was truly lovely. It makes me happy to see someone wearing it again.

_While the handmaiden-_

Jazan: Work AND narrate, slave!

_-sigh- While the handmaiden -pauses to pull another cake out of the oven- escorts Nabile to Jazan's Chamber, Tomos grows more bored every second. _

Tomos(speaking to the monster watching over him): Hey, can I have a puzzle or something? There's nothing to do in here.

Monster: Be quiet! I have better things to do than guard a child!

Tomos: Oh really? Like what?

Brown Tonu Guard from chapter 5: SMOKE WEED WITH US!

Grey Tonu Guard: -has a joint sticking out of his mouth- Yeah...bitch...

Tomos: Do you even have lungs? O.o

Monster: THAT'S NOT THE POINT! I'm certainly not going to fetch you puzzles! -walks away-

_As the guard leaves the room, Tomos notices his cloth wraps have become loose. _

Tomos: -grins evily-

_Quietly he ties the end of the loose wrapping around the leg of a chair._

Swordmaster Talek: Oh yeah! Like that little chair is really going to stop him keeping you from escaping!

Monster: -turns around- Wha? Who's escaping?

Tomos: Not me! -hops out window-

Monster: Get back in here! If you fall out that window and kill yourself, Jazan will have my hide!

Tomos: Oh, please! I'm not going to sl-(slips) AAAAAHHHH! I'm gonna die--OOF!-lands on the ground two feet below him-

Monster: Hey! I said get back h-(gets knocked out by Swordmaster Talek's fire extinguisher)

Tomos: Thanks goodness for one story windows! -runs off-

_In moments, Tomos escapes from Jazan's tower..._

_...only to find himself in deeper trouble!_

Scordrax: Mwahahaha! Burn! BURN! Hehehehe!

Tomos: Help! O.O

Harry Potter Puppet Pal: -runs up panting- We came as fast as we could!

Ron Puppet Pal: Or at least as fast as the people connected to the arms that control us could!

Tomos: So help me!

Harry Potter PP: Yes, right. We'll save you!

Ron PP: I brought a flamethrower! This'll stop him!

Harry Potter PP: You idiot! That's a fire breathing scorchio! He's resistant to fire!

Ron PP: Oh, did I say fire? I meant spoog.

Scordrax: 0.0 Spoog? AAAAAAHHHHHH!

Harry Potter PP: And I brought beans! What'll he have to ignite his flames with if he farts it all out! Tee-hee!

Magical Trevor: -pops up- Yo, did someone say beans?

Harry Potter PP: Not for you!

Magical Trevor: Awww...shucks.

Town Idiot/Crazy person: -runs by again- THE END HAS COME! WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE! AAAAAHHHHHH!

Guys in the white jackets: -run after him- Get back here!

Tomos: Gosh, how hard is it to catch him?

Guy in white jacket #1: Pretty hard. He's a slippery little devil. He rubs himself in butter and says he's toast.

Me: -can't resist urge to yell- BUTTERED TOAST! xDDDD

**End. **

Sneak peek at the next chapter!

Jazan: Oh my gosh! Mommy?

Nabile: Er..uh..yeah. Jazan, I AM YOUR MOTHER!

Jazan: Really?

Nabile: Not really. Does this dress make me look fat?


	14. Chapter 14

Me: Eee! Can you believe it? THE FINAL CHAPTER!

Darigan: What's so great about it? This plot sucked just like all the others!

Kanrik: Oh, quit acting so cocky because the Battle for Meridell plot was better than the rest of the plots!

Jeran: Heh heh, you said cocky...

Kanrik: Ha! I did, didn't I?

**Chapter 14! (OMG)**

_When we last left Tomos, he was running away from Scordrax._

Me: Eeeee! The city is still on fire!

Town Idiot/Crazy person(runs by with barel on fire): My pants are burning! MY PANTS ARE BURNING!

Tomos: -bangs on door of palace- Let me in! Let me in!

Gelert: -opens door- You only have to say it once, I heard you the first time.

Tomos: Thank you! What was that thing?

Gelert: Another of Jazan's creations sent to torment us. It gets worse every day! And if you want to seek refuge here, you need to speak to the quartermaster over there. As you see, things are getting crowded in here.

Tomos: A master of quarters? Cool!

_While Tomos settles as a refugee, Nabile and the handmaiden are escorted to the palace. There, Jazan is overseeing the final preparations for his wedding._

_They arrive to find that the wedding ceremony has already begun._

Jazan: Have my bride brought forth.

(three of Jazan's monsters bring forth Amira and Enarka)

Amira: Get your hands off me, you thugs!

Cybunny Preacher: If anyone knows why these two should not be married, let them speak now...

Swordmaster Talek (thinking): Urge to shout out randomly...rising...

Nabile: -raises hand- I do. The Prince does not love Amira and she absolutely hates him!

Jazan: HOW DARE YOU INTERRUPT, YOU LITTLE---Wait...-sees Nabile in his mom's dress- Mommy?

Nabile: Er..uh..yeah. Jazan, I AM YOUR MOTHER!

Jazan: Really?

Nabile: Not really. Does this dress make me look fat?

Jazan: Not really. But honestly, why did you have to interrupt?

Nabile: You know I speak the truth. You also know the curse will not be broken unless true love unites you with your bride.

Enarka: My goodness! It can't be!

Nabile: What? Is there something in my teeth?

Enarka: Err...no. You look just like princess Neera.

Jazan: Who?

Nabile: What?

Swordmaster Talek: Where?

Amira: When?

Me: WHY?

Enarka: A long time ago Princess Neera brought her family to shame after she fell in love with a simple peasant. Her father cast her out of the palace and left her to live in poverty with her husband. If she is truly a descendant of Princess Neera then she is of royal blood and Amira's distant cousin.

Amira: Well, hot diggity! I have a cousin!

Nabile: I have read your history Jazan, and I know once you were once a kind prince. Deep down I believe there is still a good heart inside you. This wickedness is the curse--it isn't you! Amira may not love you, but I do!

(scratchy sounds of a record suddenly being stopped)

Me: Woah! Wait a minute! Hold up, stop, rewind! What did you just say? o.O

Swordmaster Talek: That was extremely sudden...

Tomos: Nabile, no! Don't do it!

Nabile: Why not?

Tomos: Because then you'll prove I was actually RIGHT about something, and that's just scary!

Nabile: Oh my gosh! You're right!

Tomos: I'm right? Aaaaaahhhhhh!

Nabile: Aaaaahhhhhhh!

Tomos: Aaaaahhhhhh!

Nabile: Aaaaaahhhhhhh!

Swordmaster Talek: Aaaaaaaahhhhhh!

Nuria (the fire faerie that was in the Lost Desert TCG card expansion but never appeared in this damn plot): Aaaaahhhhh!

Jazan: No one has ever offered me such kindness. Princess Amira, I release you from your obligation. Let us begin the ceremony again.

_And so it came to pass that Nabile, a-_

Me: THIS ENDING SUCKS!

Nabile: Don't blame us! It's in the script!

Swordmaster Talek: LET'S GET THE SCRIPT GUY!

Guy with script: Eeeeee! -runs away-

Me: YEAH! We're gonna end this plot MY WAY!

-quickly rewrites script-

Me: Here, you all read these instead!

Nabile: Jazan, whenever I read about you, at first I felt sympathy for you, and then as I got to learn about you more, that sympathy turned into more. More than just admiration. Jazan, I think I love you!

Tomos: Ha! I knew it!

Jazan: Wow, this was so unexpected.

Nabile: I know, right?

_So Nabile married Jazan. The moment he put the ring on her finger, Sakhmet returned to the world of the living and the monsters had vanished from the city._

Magical trevor: -runs down aisle throwing rose petals-

Nabile: Wait! Before we go back to Qasala, I have to say good-bye to my friends!

Jazan: Don't worry, you'll see them at the wedding reception!

Nabile: A--a wedding reception?

Jazan: Yep! We're not following the script, remember?

Me: Yup! I made SURE of that... -glances at the script guy cornered by Swordmaster Talek and several angry Sakhmet citizens with third degree burns-

Guy with script: Back! Get back! All of you! I still have this script! I'm capable of giving you all very nasty papercuts!

Nuria: Sweet, a reception! I'll be the DJ!

(after hours of fun and getting drunk at the reception, Jazan and Nabile must leave)

Nabile: -hugs Tomos- Bye!

Tomos: I'll miss you.

Nabile: Come visit me in Qasala some time, even though it's about an hour long trek in the middle of a scorching desert!

Tomos: Errr... yeah, okay...

Nabile: -hugs Horace- Bye!

Horace: I hate to see you leave the Desert Scarabs.

Nabile: I know, I do too. -goes off to hug the rest of the Scarabs-

Jazan (is about to drop to the floor from so much alcohol): -shakes hands with Amira- It was vurry nize meeting (hic) you...

Amira: I'm over here...

Jazan: Oh... then who am I shaking hands with...

Armin: -squeals- Eeeee! He touched me! I'll NEVER wash this hand again!

Nightsteed: Come on, Prince. Time to go home.

Jazan: -gets on Nightsteed backwards- That's (hic) KING to yooouuu... -falls off-

Nightsteed: -sigh- He's too drunk to sit upright. Someone fling him over my back!

_After everyone said their farewells, Nabile returned to Qasala with Jazan as her husband..._

_...and together they began rebuilding the kingdom._

Me: Where did the wocky get that shovel? o.O

Swordmaster Talek: -hides behind wall-

**End.**

Deleted Scenes

_Scene 1_

Amira(in her room): Mirror, mirror, on the wall, who's the vainest of them all?

Mirror: Garin the Foolish...

Amira: YOU WORTHLESS PIECE OF-(smashes mirror onto floor)

_Scene 2_

Jazan(is at Target with a full shopping cart): Lalalalala...-rolls cart up to register-

Lady at register: -looks in cart- Uh, sir, are you sure you want to buy all that eyeliner?

Jazan: Of course I'm sure!

Lady at register: -shrugs- Okay, fine with me. -starts scanning everything-

Jazan: -waits patiently-

Lady at register: That'll be $387.94 sir.

Jazan: -hands her money-

Lady at register: -counts money- Um, sir, you're five cents short.

Jazan: Awww...I don't have any more money with me! Can't you just..you know..let me take it? What does one nickel matter?

Lady at register: Sorry, I can't do that. You can give it back to me and I'll take that price off, then you'll have enough...

Jazan: HOW DARE YOU DENY ME MY EYELINER! -zaps her into a pile of soot-

People nearby: -turn and stare-

Jazan: Errr...-looks at pile of soot- Oops... 0.0 -quickly rolls cart out of store and runs off-

_Scene 3_

Nightsteed: Yo, has anyone seen Jazan?

Enarka: He's locked himself in his room.

Nightsteed: Doing what?

Enarka: Trying on his new eyeliner.

Nightsteed: Oh. -walks to his room and knocks on door-

(no one answers)

Nightsteed: -hears voices on the other side of door-

Voice: Oh, that outfit looks awful on you! Let me just help you take it off...

Nightsteed: -bursts through door- What the hell's going on in here?

Jazan: -screams- Eeeee! I WASN'T DRESSING UP MY USUKI IN MY LIKENESS AND PUTTING EYELINER ON IT IF THAT'S WHAT YOU THINK!

Nightsteed: Ooooo-kaaaaaayyyyyy... -shuts door quietly and walks away-

_Scene 4_

Kitchen Chef: Hey! Where's my spatula?

Swordmaster Talek: -runs off with spatula- Eeee hee hee hee! SPATULA!

Kitchen Chef: Oi, not again! -smacks forehead-

_Scene 5_

Brown Tonu Guard: -is still smoking weed- Awww...dis stuff is fo rizzle...

Purple Tonu Guard: Word...

(sirens suddenly starts blaring)

Voice outside: This is the police! We have the palace surrounded! Come out with your hands up, we know you have illegal drugs in there!

Brown Tonu Guard: You'll have to catch us, SUCKERS! -grabs jetpack and flies off-

Purple Tonu Guard: -does the same-

Grey Tonu Guard: -grabs a jetpack but misses hole in ceiling- OW! -rubs head then flies off again-

_End of deleted scenes_

Me: Well everyone, that's it! We hope you enjoyed our spoof!

Everyone who was in the spoof: -bows as people in audience throw roses and flowers and sharp stones-

Tomos: Wait, sto-(is hit in the head by a stone)

Armin: -picks up stone- OHMYGOSH! This touched Tomos! I'll never wash this again!


	15. Chapter 15

Me(reading the news): WHAT? There's a chapter fifteen? This plot's not OVER?

Swordmaster Talek: -pops up- Nope!

Me: -sigh- Well, we all know what that means. -bangs on the doors of the characters- EVERYBODY UP! TNT SNUCK IN ANOTHER CHAPTER WHILE WE WERE ASLEEP! Get up! We've got a spoof to do!

Jazan: Ugh...we're not DONE?

Tomos: Lemme get some coffee first...

Amira: Oooh, I need my beauty sleep!

Nabile: We still have to memorize the script!

Me: Tough! We got people to please and guts to bust! Get this show on the road!

(Everybody reluctantly wake up and trudge off to get ready)

**Chapter 15**

(scene takes place with Nabile and Jazan walking through Qasala)

_Over time, Nabile and Jazan's love has continued to blossom..._

Darigan: Touching, now I think I'll blow this place up!

Brina: Bad Dari! Go to your chambers!

Darigan: Fine... -walks off-

_AHEM, but still, the curse has not lifted._

Mummy Nimmo: They're so cute together!

Mummy Wocky: Heh, I have a pitchfork.

Nabile: ...

Me: -whispers- Nabile! Say your lines!

Nabile: -starts snoring-

Jazan: She fell asleep!

Nabile: Well wake her up!

Jazan: -blows foghorn in her ear-

Nabile: -wakes with a start- Wah! Who what where when why? Huh? Oh, I'm awake now...

Me: Say your lines!

Nabile: Right. My love, what is troubling you?

Jazan: Why has nothing changed? I did exactly what the prophecy commanded. Yet my people remain monsters, and my city lies in ruins.

Nightsteed: And your eyes are still glowing that freaky red color.

Jazan: Yeah, and that too. My dear, I know this is not the life you imagined. I cannot bear to see you in this doomed place. I beg of you, return to Sakhmet where you will be among the living.

Nabile: It is true, I do miss my...miss my...-snores-

Jazan: -sigh- She fell asleep again.

Me: Well?

Jazan: -blows foghorn in her ear-

Nabile: Aah! I'm awake, I'm awake! It is true, I do miss my friends and the bustle of the city. But my love, I could never leave you.

Me: Ugh! Enough will all this 'my love' crap! It's so mushy and icky!

_After many long talks, Nabile agrees to return to Sakhmet. There, she will search for answers and hopefully find a way to end the curse of Qasala._

_And so Nabile returns to Sakhmet and is given a hero's welcome. Princess Amira declares the day a holiday and a grand banquet is held._

Magical trevor: Woah, going a little overboard, aren'tcha? I mean really, a holiday?

_But with Nabile gone, Jazan loses interest in building Qasala. He becomes weaker, often going days without eating._

Skarl: -gasp- HOW COULD YOU? Waste perfectly good food, shame on you!

Nightsteed: Why did you send her away? I can see you are miserable without her.

Jazan: How could she be happy here? She is so alive, and this place is so...dead.

_For Nabile, the days fly by as she desperately searches for answers. But sometimes answers come in the most unexpected ways..._

(scene changes to a guard outside)

Lupe Guard: There is a storm coming. Sound the alarm!

Zafara Guard: That cloud is moving too fast. I've never seen anything like it.

_Within moments the first signs of the storm can be felt throughout Sakhmet._

Town Idiot/Crazy Person: -is holding onto a doorknob while his feet are swept off the ground by the winds- Eeeeee! DOOM HAS COME! DOOOOM!

(scene changes to Amira and Nabile having tea)

Enarka: -rushes in- My ladies, I think you had better come see this!

Amira: What is going on?

(they all see people running by and a huge bolt of lightning hit the ground)

-KABLAM-

Razul: Hello Sakhmet! Prepare to meet your doom!

Kass: Psh, what a stupid line.

Darigan: Dude, he looks so badass, he could pwn me. o.o

Amira: Damn, I just can't get a break, can I?

Skarl: At least your land isn't attacked as often as my land!

Razul: Long ago you imprisoned me. Now, thanks to my foolish son, I have been freed.

Amira: Who's your son?

Razul: Guess

Amira: Jeran?

Razul: No.

Amira: Garin?

Razul: No.

Nabile: Psellia?

Razul: IsPsellia even a man?

Psellia: Ever since I got that sex change operation, yes!

Razul: o.O

Nabile: The Snowager?

Razul: T.T

Amira: My seventh grade science teacher?

Razul: No...

Amira and Nabile: -gasp- JAZAN?

Razul: Bingo.

**End...(for now)**

Behind the scenes:

Razul: Jazan...I AM YOUR FATHER!

Jazan: Daddy! -hugs him-

Razuk: Dude! NOT a good idea!

Jazan: Why not?

Razul: My entire body consists of thousand degree flames...

Jazan: O.O

Nabile: Ew, I don't like my princes crispy...

Amira: What about well-done?


	16. Chapter 16

**Chapter 16**

Razul: Mwahahaha! BURN! BURRRRRRN! -blast people with purple beams of lightning(or whatever it is)-

Swordmaster Talek: -runs by wearing rubber gloves- I have another fire extinguisher!

Razul: -steals it and throws it far off into the distance-

Someone on Mystery Island: Oh, what a lovely da-OW! -gets hit by the fire extinguisher-

Mystery Island Idiot/Crazy person: The sky is falling! THE SKY IS FALLIIIIIIING!

General Dacon: Attack that thing, give it all you've got!

Razul: That _thing_? I am not a thing, I am Razul, the most powerful sorcerer to ever live!

Dacon: Well you're still ugly!

Razul: Come say that to my face, Tonu boy! I'll fry your bacon ass!

Gener Dacon: IT'S DACON! DACON! With a 'D'!

_Trying as they might, the army cannot stop Razul. He deflects their attacks as if they are nothing._

Amira: Just when I though the city was safe once more, and now this...

Nabile: How can we stop him?

_Meanwhile..._

(scene moves to Jazan lying in bed while Nightsteed stands beside him)

Nightsteed: Old friend, you must eat. You are growing weaker each day.

Jazan: No! I'm deermined to be anorexic like Lindsey Lohan!

(scen moves back to Sakhmet, with some of the Desert Scarabs below Razul)

Horace(pointing at Razul): Hey! You! Ugly!

Razul: -zaps them all- Pathetic!

Enarka: My ladies, you should really get to safety.

Amira: Do you think anywhere is safe from that?

Enarka: Of course! You'll be safe inside the castl-

(Razul breaks down front door and enters)

Amira(to Enarka): You were saying?

Enarka: Err...

-BANG-

Nabile: -turns around- What was that?

(they all see Razul)

Razul: How nice Princess, I see you have sent me a welcoming party.

Kass: -bursts in with bottles of vodka and Corona- Did someone say party?

Enarka: -grabs Amira and nabile's hands- Princesses, please, come with me.

Nabile: You sound so calm about all this!

Enarka: Okay, you want me to lose my head? You got it. -takes a deep breath- OHMYGOD WE'RE ALL GONNA BURN I GOTTA GET YOU TWO SAFETY FOLLOW MEEEE!11!one

Amira: That's more like it!

(Razul casta a fireball at Nabile that she narrowly misses)

Nabile: -shrieks- Aaah! My hair! My beautiful, beautiful hair! He BURNED the ends of my hair!

Jacques: -pops up- Oh no! NOT the _hair_!

(scene moves back to Jazan)

Jazan: -suddenly wakes up- Nabile is in danger!

_Without a moment to lose, Jazan and the Nightsteed set off for Sakhmet._

(scene moves back to Nabile, Enarka, and Amira all fleeing)

Razul: -burninating the guards- Out of my way, fools!

(scene moves yet again...to Jazan and Nightsteed)

Nightsteed: You haven't been well, are you sure this is wise?

Jazan: I must try to help her.

-Nightsteed and Jazan look around Sakhmet-

Nightsteed: What could cause this damage?

Jazan: I don't know, but I have to find my wife. -starts shouting- Nabile! Nabile!

Swordmaster Talek: Marco!

Random Sakhmet Citizen: Polo!

Swordmaster Talek: Maaaaaaarcoooo!

Jazan: Do you MIND?

Swordmaster Talek: Sorry...

**End.**


	17. Chapter 17

**Chapter 17**

_When we last left the princesses and Enarka, they were fleeing for their lives, until..._

Enarka: Oh no! A dead end!

Amira: What are the odds?

Razul: Here little princesses...

Amira, Enarka, and Nabile: -gasp!-

Razul: At last, I can destroy this city and all its royalty.

Jazan(still shouting): Nabile! Nabile!

Nabile: Jazan! Is that you?

Jazan: -walks into castle and sees Razul- OMG! -gasp- Y...you?

Razul: You pathetic love-sick fool, you are an embarrassment to call my son.

Vyassa: -pops up- Ooooh! Dissed much? -snaps fingers then disappears-

Jazan: Father! But, you are dead...

Razul: You really think that death could stop me? Now it is time to finish things here, then once I have destroyed Sakhmet, I can move on to the rest of Neopia!

The Darkest Faerie: Oh no you don't! The rest of Neopia is MY territory, byotch!

Vyassa: -pops up and snaps finger again- Uh! She told joo!

Razul: -conjures up a fire ball-

Jazan: -conjures up his lightning- I will stop you!

Razul: -weakens Jazan's attack with his own- Foolish child, I should have killed you years ago!

Jazan: If you had, you'd have never heard the end of Mom's bitching!

Razul: -thinks about it-

_Jazan's Mom: -brandishing rolling pin- You did WHAT? Oh, you're getting it now! -chases after him with rolling pin-_

_Razul: Nooo! Not the rolling pin! NOT THE ROLLING PIN!_

Jazan: You see?

Razul: Bah! Your mother is the least of my worries! -blasts Nabile-

Jazan: No! Nabile!

Swordmaster Talek: Oooh...B-B-Q Nabile!

Me: IXI STEAK!

Razul: And the next chapter shall feature the rare delicacy known as a Marinated Amira with a side of Bitchyness.

Amira: O.O;

**End.**

Behind the scenes

Brown Tonu Guard: Hey, you think Razul likes weed?

Purple Tonu Guard: Yeah...bitch...

Brown Tonu Guard: Maybe if we get him to smoke some with us, he'll get so high he'll forget about burning Sakhmet to the ground.

Purple Tonu Guard: Yeah...bitch...

Brown Tonu Guard: Okay...yeah...well, I guess I'll go read a book now.

Purple Tonu Guard: Yeah...bitch...

Brown Tonu Guard: -picks up a copy of _Harry Pothead and the Goblet of Wine_-


	18. Chapter 18

Me: FINALLY! This really IS the end!

Darigan: Soo..can I say it sucked again?

Me: No.

Darigan: Please?

Me: No.

Darigan: PLEEEEEEASE?

Me: No.

Darigan: You're no fun!

**Chapter 18 (dundundun)**

_When we last left our heroes, Razul had fried Nabile to a crisp.._

Weed smoking guard #2: And he wouldn't take our weed!

_-cough- YES... and he wouldn't accept their weed. How sad.._

Swordmaster Talek: -pops up- You make Nabile being fried to a crisp sound like a good thing...

Me: -knocks him out with a club and drags him away-

Jazan: Father, you will pay for that!

_Jazan, seeing his wife injured by his own father, finds the strength deep down inside his heart to defeat Raz-_

Me:Wait wait wait! WAIT! Stop, hold up, and REWIND! What the hell is this? '_finds the strength deep down inside his heart_' ? You make Jazan sound like some fag!

Narrator: _Um..well yeah, I just..er.._

Me: No, don't even answer that. -sigh- ONCE again, I must re-write this script!

Jazan (reading new script): Aww..sweet. -pulls out shotgun- EAT LEAD! -shoots Razul-

Razul: Mwahaha! I'm made of flame, nothing solid! It goes right through me!

Jazan: Right. -throws a bomb at Razul's face-

Razul: Noooo-(bomb makes contact with flames and asplodes)

Amira: Oooh...FIREWORKS!

Enarka: I didn't know people's faces blew off that fast..

Jazan: Nabile... -kneels down beside her-

(The clouds disappear and sunlight shines down on Sakhmet)

(Next scene takes place with Nabile in bed and Jazan holding her hand)

Jazan: I thought I had lost you...

Kau Nurse: Sir, I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but she will not live.

Jazan: WHAT? Are you SERIOUS?

Kau Nurse: xD No. Just adding a little drama. But really, she's weak and needs to sleep.

Jazan: Okay... -trudges off-

Nightsteed: Yo, homie.

Jazan: W0rd.

Nightsteed: Hey, your robes changed..and your eyes aren't glowing red anymore..

Jazan: Why do you think you didn't change?

Garin: -pops up- HE NEEDS BETTER MAKEUP!

Magical Trevor: I shall use my magical powers to make Nightsteed beautiful again!

Kyre: -pops up again from chapter 6- Ooooh! Let Kyre! Kyre will do it!

Nightsteed: Noo! Get her away from me! Aaah!

Kyre: -clings to Nightsteed- Can Kyre come back to Qasala with ye?

Nightsteed: Err..yeah, sure. Can I just get back to my lines?

Kyre: -noddeths-

Nightsteed: Right, where was I? Oh yes..-clears throat- I don't know, maybe I had been cursed for too long. Actually, I don't mind...

Kyre: And neither does the Kyre! -grins-

Nightsteed: -glares-

Kyre: Err...teh Kyre will be silenced now.

Nightsteed: ...I'm rather used to looking like this now.

Jazan: -pats Nightsteed on the back- Dear old friend, you always did make the best of a situation.

**En- **(interrupts)

Me: Wait just one minute! What. The hell. Was THAT?

Swordmaster Talek: That ending sucked more than the ending to Curse of Maraqua!

Jacques: And that's saying something..

Swordmaster Talek: -glares at the script guy- Have you not learned your lesson?

Guy with script: Eep! -runs away-

Swordmaster Talek: GET HIM!

(Angry mob runs by with torches and pitchforks)

Amira: I hardly had a line! Only a mere appearance! Hmph!

Enarka: Same here!

Tomos: -pops up- Yeah! And why weren't the Scarabs in this chapter? Or at least me? This was the LAST chapter, and I wasn't even in it!

Harry Potter Puppet Pal: A war, I say, a WAR!

Kass and Darigan: OnG! lyke a WAR omg omg ong!1shift1

Skarl: Oh...shit...

Me: -gets out bazooka- Mwahaha! A war there shall be!

Jazan: Guys, it was just a rushed ending...no big dealo.O

Everyone: -gasp-

Me: How can you SAY that? The ending is everything! EVERYTHING, I tell you!

Swordmaster Talek: EVERYTHING!

Vyassa: -pops up and snaps fingers- Mmm hmmm! They told joo, byotch!

Weed smoking guard #1: Doods...we didn't appear in dis plot chapter either..

Weed smoking guard #2: Word, bizzatch...

Me: No, but you were in my spoof, and that's better :D

Jazan: Hey, can we hurry up and end this spoof already?

Nightsteed: This girl is..is gluing herself to me..

Kyre: Err...no, I'm not? -hides glue-

Amira: Do we have any more deleted scenes?

Me: Nope. -frowns-

Weed smoking guard #1: Wanna come smoke o'dis shizzle?

Nightsteed: Fo rizzle. Pass it ovah.

Kass: -breaks out the vodka and chips- PARTAY!

**End.**

Word from the author:

_Hey to everyone who read my spoof! Thanks for all the comments, I was suprised I got so many! Anyways, I'm glad I could entertain y'all and your friends, it's been a real pleasure typing it up. Sorry it took so long for chapter 18 to be put up, I had to deal with my account being frozen (yes, my account was frozen). So, I hope you agreed with my version of the ending. You can make a comment and tell me how I could make it better. I'll read 'em, but I won't change anything. I'm just too friggin' lazy to go back and change anything. xD_

_See ya, mah spoof luvin' homies._


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